My first experiences in California was when I was in the Navy, first with boot camp and schools and then onboard a ship which was stationed in California. I decided to stay in California after I left the Navy. Even when I was traveling in the 1980's, California was my home base. Santa Barbara specifically was my winter location for a few years. I eventually settled there. I loved Santa Barbara. It's location was great for outdoor activities, In addition to the Southern California weather, the proximity of both beaches and mountains supplied a wide range of activities.
But my desire to stay with a troubled company sent me back to San Diego. I was hoping that a different "career path" within Kinko's would safeguard my position during the company's restructuring. After rolling up various independent branches, Kinko's was trying to go public. During the restructuring, my management position was changed to a non-management position. But my work was exactly the same. After trying to go along with the company's requirements to get back into management, I decided to go into what I thought was a more secure and less political position. I became a digital specialist. Since the remaining management continued to direct management duties to me instead of doing them, I decided that my specialist track would go better if I transferred to a branch outside of the area. This is why I moved back to San Diego.
I met Maria at one of San Diego's bays. We saw each other as I was coming out of the water after a swim. She commented how daring that she thought it was that I was swimming outdoors in January. I said that it was actually not as cold as she might think. Between the influence of the current outside the bay and the unseasonably warm weather, it was just warm enough to adjust within a few minutes. Plus my experiences with Santa Barbara's cooler waters probably also made a difference. She decided to give it a try. We swam together for a while. Afterward, she invited me to dinner.
Maria and I moved in together about 2 months after we met. We seemed quite compatible, although she was around 15 years younger than me. We had similar social perspectives and physical activities. Our sexual interests were compatible. She grew up in San Diego so she knew a lot more places than me. But trouble appeared about a year and a half later. A high school friend came back to San Diego and looked her up. Tammy and Maria had both gone to the same church in their childhood. Maria had become an agnostic while Tammy had become so involved in Christianity that she had been on missionary work overseas. Maria's agnosticism bothered Tammy but my atheism angered her. During the next few months, Tammy teamed up with some other childhood friends who were still religious. They would actually stalk Maria and me, both when we were together and separately. Their mission was to get me out of Maria's life, get Maria back into the church and return her to Christianity. Maria was even aware of all this. Although she still considered herself to be close to Tammy, she said that none of their tactics would work. That eventually changed to Maria returning to Christianity and church but claiming that none of that would affect our relationship. Maria eventually told me to move out because of the differences in our beliefs. I initially refused because I was on the lease and was not prepared to move so quickly. I did move after the lease ended and that was the end of our relationship.
Although I had several relationships in the past, only one had ended badly before this. I was not emotionally prepared for Maria's turn against me. So I was already a bit emotionally raw when Kinko's did another substantial restructuring which again affected me. The company had been intending to go public for a few years. A venture capital firm even owned a substantial amount of the company. But things were not quite right every year. The latest rounds of restructuring affected both my income and my position. I decided to leave and become a freelance designer.
My last shift ended at midnight. I had forgotten to bring a backpack for my stuff in the locker. So I put my personal items in a clean trash bag. After the end of the shift, I was waiting at a bus stop for a taxi because my SUV was in the shop and my bicycle was in disrepair. 3 guys approached on skateboards. The first one grabbed my bag. The second guy hit me in the head as I reached for the bag. Then the third guy joined it. They were smaller than me so I kind of managed until the first guy returned. They eventually had me on the ground and was punching and kicking me across my body. Once I managed to force them off and I stood up, they had a surprised expression. I don't think that was simply because I manged to get up. It was still 3 against 1. I think that they realized that I wasn't what they thought I was. I think that a combination of the trash bag and darkened area gave the impression to them that I was a homeless guy. But, once I got up and was facing them, they saw that I had a shirt with the logo of the company which we were next to. They left.
I was in pretty bad shape for a while. I decided to not go to the hospital because the freelance work which I had scheduled was not going to pay for about a month and I did not feel comfortable with the medical costs. My financial safety margin was not good enough, even with the medical insurance which still covered me. That and later decisions shows that I was more messed up than I thought. I correctly assessed that I did not have any broken bones or internal damage. But I was so severely bruised than I could barely move for around 3 weeks. I was basically in bed most of the time. I lost most of the scheduled freelance work. The combined affects of the beating, the end of a 10 year job, my desire to stay with Kinko's having led to to San Diego where I just had the severe beating, and the still raw feelings of the ending of my relationship with Maria resulted in an odd mental state. I also may have had a concussion. I was in a state of "what am I doing and where am I going" but in a morbid way.
I recall that the decision to leave came while I was still mostly in bed. I have no recollection why I chose Texas. I remember thinking that I wanted some place very different but not in snow country. I do remember that I selected Houston because it seemed more moderate than Texas in general. But I somehow was not cognizant of how Texas was so politically right-leaning. I remember that a lot of people were telling me that I would regret the move but I recall most of that being about how I spent most of my adult life in California. My mental state was such that I rushed the move once I was physically mobile enough.
Although I was not used to Houston's size, most of the people who I initially met in Houston were either socially progressive or silent about their views. All the local activities with my new job, settling into Houston and then relationships initially shielded me from the realization of the amount of regressive politics in Texas. But I was aware of the politics by the next election for which I was registered. But the positive nature of my job and the relationship at the time was such that I was OK with remaining there. Although I became increasingly uncomfortable with the politics and regressive attitudes outside of Houston, a combination of the job growth and relationships kept me there. I did decide that I would leave when adequate conditions existed.
I decided at around 2010 that I would do a cross country motorcycle tour when I retire and probably resettle in California for retirement, unless a relationship motivated me otherwise or ARC transferred me to California first. The latter was offered at one point but a relationship at the time motivated me to stay. When I switched to full time cycling, I changed that to the decision to leave at 60. My finances were projected to be in order. I figured that ARC would either rehire me or put me into a part-time status during the trip. I continued with the plans even during the relationship with Dan. He even entertained the idea of doing the same on his motorcycle, being kind of support for me during my cycling. After the relationship with Dan ended, I maintained my plans. I even missed opportunities for a couple of relationships because I was honest about my plans.
I set March 2021 as the start date. It even looked to me that I might be able to switch to part-time status with ARC. Now that the COVID-19 caused restructuring which resulted in my layoff, I am exited to get moving.
I do see hope for Texas. There are a lot of progressives in urban areas and that seems to be having a positive impact, albeit slowly, in rural areas. In some ways, it's more "purple" than outsiders realize. Even some of the right-leaning people have moved toward socially progressive views. But I want to move to a socially progressive state for my later years. I suspect that Texas will get there earlier than most of the deep south. But regressive politics will have an influence probably for quite some time.
To the progressive minded people in Texas, thanks for being there.
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